s I am writing this my family and I are in moving limbo. We were completely ready to move when the buyers of our house had a last minute problem…”the day before we were to move” last minute. It held up our move, but also held up the move of 3 or 4 more families in the real estate version of dominos.
Almost everything we own is in boxes. We are eating out because the kitchen is clean and most utensils and foodstuffs are packed. Cable had been cancelled, phone service was barely restored, the gas was set to be turned off, the paper is being delivered to the new house and for some reason the electricity was shut off…you get the idea. If you work out of the house as I do, it is an extra level of upheaval…your home life and your work life are in chaos…there is no sanctuary.
Life gives us these moments, teachable moments, when we have choices to make. It is an opportunity to learn and if you don’t mind, I would like to share some of those learnings with you.
Point one: You can’t control what happens around you, you can only control your reaction to it.
I was telling a friend about our circumstances and he said he would have been really mad. I asked him “What good would that do?” I had a choice…get angry or define the obstacles, look for solutions and get on with it. The situation would not change because of my anger…only the outcomes of the situation would change. My actions and reactions would determine my outcomes.
However, things do change. Be flexible. Have the flexibility to change with the changing dynamics of daily life. Everything will work out. It always does. It may not be the outcome you were specifically looking for, but there will be an outcome. Your reaction plays a big part in whether it is positive or negative.
Point two: What are you holding on to?
When is the last time you went through the basement, your attic, your closets? Did you take the time to open all of the boxes that you haven’t looked in for a while? We have been in our current house for 8 years…8 years since we last moved and opened most of the boxes holding memorabilia, assorted dust collectors and tax returns from 1987.
The house we are moving into has less storage space, so we had to make some decisions. We have made 8 or 10 trips with a full SUV to Goodwill, our trash men have learned to hate us (30 or more bags of trash 3 weeks in a row) and our children got all their stuff back…stuff we have been hauling around for years. It was cathartic…it was freeing…it was a lot of work! In the end, we have a lot less stuff! I noticed that my burden seemed lighter. I noticed that there was less stuff to worry about. I learned that there was really no reason to hold onto that stuff any more. Do my kids really want the birthday card my Mom sent me when I was 6?
The learning here is that we all carry a lot of stuff with us…tangible and intangible…and when we get rid of it, we are freer to do what we want to do. What baggage (emotional or concrete) have you been carrying around with you from your parents, past relationships and past work? What regrets are you holding on to? What goals have you kept in your head or on your goal plan that you haven’t completed yet?
If you have been holding on to a goal for a long time without achieving it, get rid of it! Put it back in your list of dreams, or get rid of it! If you haven’t done it now, all it is doing is taking up physical or mental space. Think of those things that you could be doing that are potentially more profitable. Start by looking objectively at your desk, your sock drawer or your closets. Are things jumbled, disorganized and full of stuff you haven’t used in a long time? Organize…and get rid of the stuff that is clogging it up. It is very difficult to have an organized mind when your surroundings are disorganized.
Point Three: Remain focused on the big picture.
The real tendency when your life is on hold is to forget the big picture. What was the goal that took you in the direction you have gone? What was the outcome you were seeking? When you are up to your neck in alligators, was your original intention to drain the swamp?
The important thing here is to have a big picture. What have you determined as your purpose in life? What are your most important wants? What would you like to accomplish for your family, your friends, your work, the community or for the world? Do you have a written goals plan?
If the local newspaper sent a reporter to interview you on your 75th birthday about what you have accomplished in your life, what do you want to tell the reporter?
As my grandmother used to say, “this too shall pass”. I am sure she didn’t make it up, but it makes a lot of sense. The move will be accomplished, and there will be an outcome. It may not be the one that we envisioned, but it will support our long term goals.
Creating a purpose driven life, one with written goals, helps you in all three of the areas above. You can’t control what happens to you or around you, but you can take responsibility for what you do about it. You can control the amount of stuff you carry with you. You can focus on what your life is all about and set off in the direction of accomplishing it.
If I can help you get where you want to be, give me a call and let’s discuss how you can get there. By then I should be able to give you the end of this moving story.
