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WHY COACH?
MART goals are defined as specific, measurable,
attainable, realistically high and time bound. In recent years there have been a
couple of modifications made to the original as coaching has come to embrace the
SMART goal concept. WHY SMART is the new mantra, adding the important words:
Written, Harmonious and Yours.
I got to thinking about the coaching
relationship and how it relates to the WHY SMART concept. Adding WHY in front of
COACH leads to a number of questions and statements that creates greater clarity
around the coaching relationship. Perhaps it can create some clarity for you!
Why, Coach?
I am blessed by a set of incredible
clients. They are motivated, thoughtful, hardworking people who want to see
improvement in their lives and their work. I draw inspiration from them on a
regular basis. The concept of "why" has come up with each several in a slightly
different way. Allow me to share a couple of them with you.
When I asked
the first client how he wanted to be coached, he replied "Never ask me why!" I
probed him a little further to find out what he meant. He explained that our
time together was precious to him and that he worked on those things that were
most important to him. By asking why, he found that there wasn’t a value-add for
him and the impact of our discussion was limited. He already had a good idea of
the why because of the work we had done together and wanted to focus on the how.
The other client started as my "why" guy. For our first few sessions he
asked me why about everything. If you have ever been around a three year old,
you have an idea of the exchanges. "Why, coach?" became a common conversation
starter. I refused to answer him. I would only ask him "what do you think?" He
finally caught on and asked why (what else) I did that. I explained that the
answers were inside of him, and only he could understand the why of his life and
work.
WHY COACH?
Coaching may be described as
WHY COACH: Wakeful, Harmony, Yoked, Compassionate, Open Minded, Assume nothing,
Creative and Honesty and Integrity. What does that really mean? Read on.
Wakeful: In the book "A Wakeful Faith, Spiritual
Practice in the Real World" by J. Marshall Jenkins, he relates the following:
"Why do I get up in the morning?" is an expression for, "what is the meaning of
my life?" If I do anything at all today, I must do it for some purpose beyond
myself that contributes meaning to my life. Otherwise, I might as well stay in
bed and count the tiles on the ceiling." The yardstick of time well spent in a
coaching relationship is the discovery and expression of purpose in the client’s
life. Waking up to the possibilities means a mental, physical and spiritual
awakening that leads to the fulfillment of purpose.
Harmony: Defined as congruity or the combination of
parts fitting into a pleasing whole, harmony in a coaching setting describes
balance. Some coaches describe balance as living each day with an equal emphasis
on all parts. I prefer to look at life as a series of chapters. As in a book,
each chapter takes its character through a series of events with a common theme.
I believe that each chapter should contain all elements, but with emphasis as
defined by the theme of the chapter. Chapters in a book may be short or long, as
the chapters in our life may last a week, a month or many years. A coach
connects the chapters and helps clients establish the connections needed to
understand balance and harmony.
Yoked: A yoke may be a
symbol of burden, or a sign of connection. Our personal power may be described
in much the same way, a burden or a blessing. Are you harnessed to your personal
power? Are you able to work side by side with the energy of others? Do you feel
yoked and burdened or yoked and connected? Effective coaching
works to connect you to your power and connects you with the power in others.
Compassionate: The Dalai Lama says: "To feel true
compassion for all beings, we must remove any partiality from our attitude
towards them." It is our attitudes that keep us close or push us away from
others in our lives. Compassion is about helping others, not just the ones you
like or who like you. In order to be your most authentic self, coaching opens
the pathways to understanding others as well as ourselves. Our ability to be
compassionate, to help others, increases exponentially with this understanding.
Coaches apply their skills and knowledge of humanity to open the door to
understanding.
Open Minded: Henry Miller once said:
"Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to
accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run
away from, everything we deny, denigrate, or despise, serves to defeat us in the
end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and
strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who
has the vision to recognize it as such." The opening of a mind is a beautiful
experience, somewhat like opening your windows on the first nice day of spring.
Coaching opens minds.
Assume Nothing: I am sure that
there is another attribution for this quote, but the person that I remember it
for is my father. He used to tell me "Don’t make assumptions. It makes an ass of
u and me." Assumptions are the social and mental lubrication that allow us to
connect the dots and get through the day. The problem with assumptions is that
we often believe them to be the truth. If we believe them to be the truth, our
assumptions limit our ability to alter our outcomes. We deceive ourselves and
build walls around us with assumptions. A good coach challenges assumptions and
gets to the truth of the situation. It pulls back the veil and allows us to make
better decisions because we have better information.
Creative: "Creativity represents a miraculous coming
together of the uninhibited energy of the child with its apparent opposite and
enemy, the sense of order imposed on the disciplined adult intelligence." The
words of Norman Podhoretz narrated above, represents the struggle inherent in a
coaching relationship. We struggle to rationalize our conscious and subconscious
minds. Our conscious minds process at about 2,000 bits per second, while our
subconscious is processing at about 4.5 billion bits per second. Our conscious
brain is the source of plans, concepts and all of the things we want to do. Our
subconscious is the residence of the things we know we cannot do. It tells us
what is. Rationalizing those things we espouse with those things we take action
on is a core concept of coaching.
Honesty and
Integrity: These go hand in hand. Honesty directly reflects on your
ability to give your word. Integrity is about keeping your word. You can not
have one without the other. Chapter 5, verse 12 of James offers some insight
into this if you are biblically inclined: "Above all…let your yes be yes and
your no be no." The first of Don Miguel Ruiz’ "Four Agreements" is "Be
impeccable with your word". He writes "The word is not just a sound or a written
symbol. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and
communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events of your life…But like a
sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your
word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word…the
other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love
and heaven on earth." Coaches hold their clients accountable to themselves.
Why Coach?
Here are some direct quotes from
current clients. They answer "Why Coach?" better than I ever could.
"Coaching inspired me to expect more from my organization. More
important, the coaching experience taught me how to lead my organization to
achieve my higher expectations. The results I have seen are value-based
leadership, vision-based decision making, and greater self empowerment. It has
enabled me to inspire growth and higher levels of performance in those around
me."
"Coaching has allowed me to open my mind to new ways of
doing. By being more goal and action oriented, I have increased my personal
productivity and achieved a greater balance in my life."
"Coaching has become a life changing experience for me. Among other
things, it has helped break down communication barriers and move past
limitations that have stifled our company. We weren’t even aware of how costly
many of these problems were. There is a new spirit of optimism, trust and
excitement building as walls come down and people feel empowered. I believe
coaching has helped me in a profound and fundamental way to change our approach
to business as well as our attitude toward our most precious resource, our
people."
Is there any better way to say it?
Chip Scholz is an executive coach. His clients include top executives and
their teams, working to improve the quality of their work and their lives. If
you would take the next step to success contact Chip at 704-827-4474 or chip@scholzandassociates.com.
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